It’s just not worth it.
Dr. Annie Zimmerman, a therapist who runs @your_pocket_therapist on TikTok, revealed five signs to confirm you’re arguing with a narcissist.
“Having a healthy argument or healthy conflict with a narcissist is almost impossible,” the therapist said. “You can’t logically reason with a narcissist because they tend to resort to one of these techniques.”
In the 41-second TikTok clip posted on August 15, she lists all the behavioral traits narcissists display during a confrontation.
“One of the best ways to recognize if someone is narcissistic or has narcissistic tendencies is to notice the way they argue,” the video’s voiceover reveals.
Dr. Zimmerman reveals that denial is the first warning sign when you’re dealing with a narcissist.
“They tend to deny their role in anything. They are not capable of owning their side and any excuses will be meaningless or superficial,” adds the therapist.
Another narcissistic warning is when the person hijacks the conversation. The therapist explains that the person will shift the conversation to you rather than themselves and address your insecurities: “All of a sudden you find yourself talking about your flaws when it is you who is raising a problem with her.
She also points out that if the potential narcissist tries to play the role of the victim, be wary, as they will often get angry and make you think you did something wrong.
Some conflicts can become very heated when the selfish person tries to make light of the situation, making you believe that you are the cause of the problem, Dr. Zimmerman continues.
She concludes the video with the fifth warning sign: when a person attempts to “attack, becoming aggressive and defensive.”
The toxic ways resonated with many TikTokers, who noticed parallels in their conflicts.
“Today I learned that I was a narcissist without realizing it,” one person confessed. “I do all this, but I don’t consider myself a bad person.”
“My mom is a narcissist and no one can see it except me,” admitted another.
“My 33+ years of marriage. Finally, I am free!!!” celebrated a divorcee.
Other people have suggested additional red flags that might indicate someone is narcissistic.
“The silent treatment to punish you for disagreeing with them or giving them what they want,” one person commented. “Or personal attacks or a lie!!! »
Meanwhile, some want to know how to deal with egomaniacs.
“Teach us HOW to chat with someone,” asked one observer. “What are the 5 signs of a healthy argument? »
While they wait for Dr. Zimmerman’s response, a TikToker responded, sharing healthy ways to argue.
“Taking into account what the other person says, genuinely trying to resolve it, always ready to apologize for any shortcomings, wanting the best for both.”
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