DEAR ABBY:
I need advice regarding a friend who is constantly down and clinically depressed. I tried to pray for her, to lift her up and encourage her, but to no avail. At this point, I feel like she’s determined to stay that way.
Sometimes I have to distance myself for a while because seeing her is exhausting. I’ve known her for two years and she’s still like that. Who does NOT have problems?! That’s life. Sometimes we were happy, sometimes not.
She takes it personally and starts to question our friendship if I don’t call, check on her, or visit her. It became overwhelming for me. Honestly, I don’t have the energy for her. I have to worry about my family.
I recently told her that sometimes she can be a bit much and to not take it personally if I’m not always available. I also said my focus has changed because my kids have classes and I’m back at work. I really need some advice on what I should do about it. — A FRIENDSHIP HELD IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TENDER:
You stated that your friend suffered from clinical depression. Was it diagnosed by a healthcare professional? If the answer to this question is yes, you should tell her that she needs to see her doctor because after two years her depression has not improved.
If she has NOT received a formal diagnosis, point her in that direction, which would allow her access to medications and/or therapy that could help her. Don’t allow him to make you feel guilty and do something that is too much for you, because if you continue, your resentment will only increase.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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