DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I got married a year ago, I dropped my health insurance plan and joined his family plan because it also covers his children, including one who is an adult. There was no additional cost to add me.
However, a few months later, the insurance company increased the monthly premium for all employees. When my husband talked to his adult child about helping him pay his share of the premium, he avoided answering and the issue was dropped. My husband recently brought up the topic again and was met with the same avoidance and excuses for not working enough hours at his job. They are also not full-time students.
Shortly after the conversation ended, this adult child took to social media to call out how stupid his father was by asking them to help him pay, and then also posted several accusations that were false. This has hurt my husband deeply and his attempts to communicate are ignored.
My husband has never been harsh about it. He hoped that as young adults they would understand why they were being asked to help take care of their health. Instead, it turned into a childish and disrespectful attack. My husband now wants to remove this adult child from his insurance entirely, and I agree, even knowing the possible consequences.
Does this make us bad people? Is it wrong to ask a young adult to help pay for their medical needs? I feel bad for my husband
DEAR INJURED: Your husband’s child may be over 21, but he behaved like a child throwing a tantrum. Instead of appreciating what they have been given, they demand more. It would be a mistake to continue to reward bad behavior. It wasn’t bad to ask a young adult to contribute to the cost of their health insurance. In these circumstances, removing this child from the insurance contract does not make you bad people; it makes you intelligent people.
DEAR ABBY: Ever since we started dating, I told my wife that I never wanted to own a dog. She seemed to be okay with it, but over the last 10 years she has put intense pressure on me to get one. She now says she doesn’t remember our initial conversation and says she never would have agreed.
She works and I stay at home with the children, so it would be my responsibility to take care of the animal, which I refuse to do. I feel physically ill around dogs, but since I don’t actively sneeze around them, she thinks I’m making up my sensitivity.
She is now rallying the children against me. We live a transient lifestyle that would require us to babysit the dog for one to three months a year, which would cost money we don’t have. I’m tired of this conversation and I’m tired of feeling like I’m ruining his life. What should I do? Dog Free in Oklahoma
DEAR WITHOUT DOGS: Since you are in the minority, ask your doctor for a referral to an allergist, a doctor whose practice involves the diagnosis and treatment of allergies, because there are solutions to the problem.
Once this is settled, insist before adopting a dog that your children are responsible for feeding, walking and training the animal, under penalty of sanctions if they do not do so. This responsibility will teach them lessons that will prove valuable when they are older.
As for what to do with the new family member during your trip, find pet-friendly accommodations or put your wife in charge of finding boarding for her dog that won’t break the bank.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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