Each week, in the Wednesday column, Prudence asks readers what they think about a question that perplexes her. Shell will publish its latest thoughts on the matter on Friday.
Here is this week’s dilemma and answer; thanks to Coworkers have the right to be weird And Married to. for their ideas!
Dear Prudence,
I am very concerned about a colleague (male, 60 years old) who has classic symptoms of schizophrenia. He is convinced that his apartment is regularly broken into, his phones are tapped and his laptop is hacked. He thinks it’s his neighbors because they’re spreading hate messages on his Wi-Fi network and he knows you have to be in range to do that. He has a habit of turning on those close to him, believing they are part of the conspiracy, so even his friends have trouble reaching out and his family is out of state. I don’t know how to help him. Management is aware and has chosen not to intervene. What can be done?
Fearing the worst
Dear fear,
I received a lot of responses to your letter and I have to be honest, none of them made me say Problem Solved! And that makes sense. Wanting to help someone who you believe is living with a serious mental illness is a very frustrating situation. And it would be just as frustrating if you were their friend or relative, or if you were in management yourself. There just aren’t many good options.
That said, several people have objected to your hypothesis that your colleague suddenly began exhibiting symptoms of schizophrenia. At the risk of giving the impression that I’m giving medical advice (I don’t) or letting other people do it (I don’t, except for this person who seems to have some expertise ), consider the idea that A) something else, like dementia, will occur. on or B) your colleague has lived with these beliefs for many years and everything is fine.
It’s been a very long time since my diagnostic training and I’m not licensed to diagnose or practice anything, but if this coworker is in their 60s, that’s really late for initial symptom onset. If I remember correctly, for men it’s quite early (late teens/early 20s) and women can sometimes have a later onset (sometimes up to 40). But if this colleague is in his 60s, he has had these problems for 40 years. Does this have an impact on his work? As a colleague, I think this is what you need to focus on. Can he still come to work and do his job despite his ramblings about what’s going on at home? People with mental illness are more likely to be victims of violent crimes than their perpetrators, and unless he’s actively talking about harming people in the workplace or outside of the workplace, I really think that It’s one of those things where you have to keep your antenna on what’s going on. it can happen, but focus on your own work.
Coworkers have the right to be weird
I appreciated readers’ reminder that when it comes to your coworkers’ behavior, the worst is really, very unlikely to be something that could harm you or anyone else. And as difficult as it may be, I think those who said the best thing to do is to focus on managing your own worries and stress about what you’re observing, and to seek help for it. do if necessary, were right.
Does your employer offer an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) as a benefit? If there is an EAP or equivalent, you can ask a supervisor or human resources to refer the person concerned to you. If you have such a program but management refuses to recommend your colleague in difficulty, you can consult the EAP on your own. Please note that I am saying this for yourself, because you have no qualifications to ask him for help. The EAP may help you manage your worries and concerns. Unfortunately, many people have latched onto such conspiracy theories over the past few uncertain years for all of us.
Married to
I would just add that I can tell that you really care about this person, and one thing you can do is be kind to them as they deal with harassment that feels very real. You don’t have to accept that someone has taken over their Wi-Fi network, but you can listen and affirm how difficult it must be to live such a stressed life. Being supportive rather than wishing you could fix him might be a more satisfying approach, and in reality, it’s probably the most you can do. TO DO.
Classic Prudie
I’m getting a head start on the winter holidays by making a gift list in advance, but I’m stuck on a particular recipient. My boyfriend is generally handy and particularly enjoys making fires, and he expressed interest in chopping wood for the last few fires we had. Great, I thought I could get him a high quality ax or hatchet for Christmas. But then I started thinking about the risk of injury. I have anxiety and I know it can distort my perception of things, so I try to think about it rationally. My boyfriend is very aware of safety and risk assessment in daily life, but he’s also not the most spatially aware person. He can be awkward alone or with others, especially after a few drinks.
#colleague #schizophrenic
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